Monday, Feb 16
Dorothy Earnshaw and her mother were staying at the Hotel des Auzias at Vence, and Tooty thought it would be fun to pay them a surprise visit. After telephoning to make sure they were still there and would be in, she and Tammy took their seats in a tram due to start in about half an hour. Tammy wasn't feeling at all well and, just as the tram started and the ticket collector appeared, they got out and went home. Tammy went straight to bed with fever and a sore throat. Tooty sat with him all the afternoon, and in the evening when Fitz went to the Casino to gamble. The next day he was still in bed. Tooty and Fitz took the afternoon off and went to Monte Carlo for tea. On Wednesday they called in a doctor, and the little man whose name was Stini came quite early in the morning while Tooty was still in her dressing gown just after breakfast. Tammy had been moved into her bed while his room was being done, and Fitz was pretending to be asleep in the other, having been up extremely late the night before at a dance with Etimma. After an examination of the patient Dr Stini pronounced the malady to be tonsilitis, and went over to the table to write out a prescription. "Yes, it is tonsilitis, Madame," he said to Tooty, "You must take great care of yourself, and of the child" -- indicating the now heaving and gurgling form of Fitz buried in the bedclothes. Tooty could hardly prevent an explosion at this, but managed to look as much like Fitz's mother as possible until the doctor left, and then all three became hysterical and the patient's temperature rose quite ten degrees.
This is a quite presentable specimen of what are presumed to be franc notes, when recognisable. A more typical one would be of a dark brown hue, in several pieces, and is not preserved here for hygienic reasons.
Thursday, Feb 19
A very high wind suddenly got up, so that, when Tammy and Tooty were indulging in cherry cobblers at a cafe on the Promenade des Anglais, clouds of papers flew about, and some umbrella tables were knocked over. They started again for Vence but, deciding at the last minute it was too late, got out of the tram just as they were being given tickets. The ticket collector began to be suspicious. Fitz had tea with Etimma.
Friday, Feb 20
In the pouring rain, attired in their very oldest clothes, the three took a tram to Monte Carlo. Every now and then the conductor got out and blew a small toy trumpet. A poster on the wall gave the following information in connections with a roulette wheel which was pictorially represented:
THE RULE OF THE THIRTY-FOURTY, OR HOW TO GAIN BACK WHAT AT ANY TIME YOU DID LOSE.
After an excellent lunch for six francs each at the Criterion, they looked round the town and hunted in all the jewellers' windows for an engagement ring for the young couple! Peridots and Cats' Eyes were scanned and scorned.
While looking round the town before going to the Casino they discovered a little cafe called 'Freddy' on the hillside, reached by a flight of steps. With dripping mackintoshes they entered, and found a smart little place recently decorated in the modern style -- jade green walls, dark blue woodwork, black and white tiled floor, and painted tables and chairs. It being about three o'clock, the room was quite empty, and when the three sat down and ordered beer, a pianist was summoned and began playing a futile waltz. "For heaven's sake go and stop that man!" said Fitz to Tooty, who borrowed Tammy's cigarettes and went to the piano and offered one to the young man. "Non, merci, je ne fume pas" he said curtly, continuing his tune. "Alors, puis-je jouer le piano un instant?" At which he rose, snatched up his music, turned out the lights, banged down the lid and stalked off in dudgeon. So Tooty opened the piano and played loud ragtimes while Tammy and Fitz danced and the staff gathered round in amazement. Presently they finished their beer and numerous cigarettes, paid two francs and marched out again into the rain.
Then they went into the Casino where a detailed examination was carried out, and certificates presented. An official seized upon Fitz and Tooty and demanded their mackintoshes. When interrogated he said that 'Waacs' were not admitted in uniform! Fitz made her way to the sacred portals of the Sporting Club and, with a haughty greeting to the magnificent attendants, was admitted without a murmur. When she returned to fetch the other two to have tea within, their tickets were demanded of them and, owing to the singular absence of same, admittance was denied.
Saturday, Feb 21
Tooty and Tammy went by train to Cannes to fetch the Belsize from the garage. At lunch at the Splendide Restaurant the Haydens turned up again. They had tea at Antibes, and after dinner went to the Casino to dance and gamble.
Sunday, Feb 22
Although it was raining they all three started again for Vence, and in a little while it cleared up. The tram took them as far as Cagnes and then they walked nine kilos. Fitz and Tammy waited while Tooty went into the Hotel des Auzias to ask for the Earnshaws, and had tea at a cafe. When Mrs Earnshaw came down to see the visitor who had called and found it was Tooty, she nearly had a fit. Dorothy was rather dithered, too, at the little friend coming a thousand miles to drop in to tea! Coming back in the closed tram there was the usual fight over the window, Tooty at one point losing her temper completely. A few of the occupants were sober . . . .
Monday Feb 23
Tammy and Tooty took their lunch into the hills above San Sylvestre, and Fitz went off to Monte Carlo by herself, but came back in time to go to a the dansant at the Negresco with the others. In the evening they went to the opera at the Municipal Casino and saw 'Le Barbier de Seville'. Also gambled at the tables and lost a good deal.
There once was a fellow called Tammy,
Who swore a great oath and said "Damn me!"
My car is so dirity
She'll scarcely do thirty,
And my hands get so oily and clammy.
A lady called Fitz went abroad,
But the language to learn she ignored.
"L'eau chaud, s'il vous plait"
To the maid she would say,
"And a jolly low show too!" she roared.
Tuesday, Feb 24
They took the tram to Cap Ferrat and had lunch on the rocks. Being a very warm day they afterwards went to sleep. Fitz chose a slope on which to repose herself and unconsciously slipped down, her skirts slipped up, exposing several yards of canary hose, to the consternation of the natives.
After tea on the terrace of the Excelsior Parc Hotel, they returned to Nice and looked about the shops for an engagement ring, eventually choosing THE one at Maison Dunes.
Wednesday, Feb 25
The first thing to do was to get the ring from Dunes where it was being made to fit. Plans to celebrate the engagement were made, and a supper party decided on. The twenty fifth seems to be a lucky day for the young couple! At 11 o'clock they all three started in the car to Monte Carlo. Picnic lunch between there and Menton, and then they drove to the border, leaving the car and walking into Italy to buy souvenirs and send postcards to England with Italian stamps on them.
Friday, Feb 26
Tammy fetched the car and drove Fitz and Tooty to Grasse. Lunch among the mountains. The way home led through Tourettes, La Gatliere, Colomar, St. Jeanette and Vence. A magnificent sign on a diminutive house flaunting 'Restaurant - Cafe - Bar gave promises of assorted and delicious refreshments at Colomar, but on entering the dingy sawdust-strewn 'cafe' they discovered that the most that the establishment could produce was bread and cheese and beer. An excellent and original tea, after all, though unexpected.
Friday, Feb 27
Dorothy Earnshaw had arranged to spend a night in Nice, so Tammy and Tooty went to meet the tram from Vence in the morning. After fetching Fitz from the D'Albion -- and the food -- they motored up into the hills and had lunch between Cimiez and St Barthelemy. Then they took the train to the Hotel Reserve by the harbour and there behaved in a disgraceful manner. Tooty sat down and played ragtimes and Dorothy kept time with spoons on the top of the piano until asked by the management to desist; and a VERY STRANGE couple got up and danced in an even stranger manner. The young man wore a low-necked shirt with the collar thrown wide open, evidently the latest fashion in Nice. That same evening they celebrated Tooty's engagement to Tammy by a hectic supper party at the Volnay. Etimma Pin went too, and caused the greatest amusement by the quaint things he said. "You are a very tight chaperone" he said, thinking he was paying a compliment to Fitz, and meaning that she kept a tight hold on her two young charges. "Also a very wide chaperone", meaning wide-minded. After the meal was over he started picking his teeth, and in absent sort of way Tooty murmured "'Am, 'am! I 'aven't 'ad 'am for a fortnight!" Not yet satisfied with the evening's work they moved on to the Ruhr and danced there very hilariously till the early hours. Before the dancing started the orchestra played a selection -- a sort of march, and the last thing anyone expected was that Etimma and Fitz would get up and dance. But they did, and went through with it to the bitter end. The applause was hearty and prolonged! After that was over they migrated to the Casino, but found it shut. . . After getting rid of Etimma and being eventually admitted to the D'Albion in the early hours by a reluctant half-asleep porter, the real fun began.
Early in the day a large stock of provisions had been surreptitiously smuggled up to to Tooty's and Fitz's room at the D'Albion, so as not to offend the management. There was a dish of salmon mayonnaise, surrounded with ornamental hors d'oeuvres. A large box of candied fruit and several bottles of champagne. Of course there were no plates, knives, forks or glasses, but toothbrushes, sponge bowls and tooth tumblers did very well instead. Towards breakfast time the revellers had more or less dispersed to their respective couches, large portions of pineapple attached to their anatomy. O the Table next morning! What a sight!
Saturday, Feb 28
Tooty and Dorothy felt sufficiently recovered next morning to make frightful noise in the Hotel drawingroom in imitation of a jazz band. Tammy motored them and Fitz to Vence, picnicking on the way out, and took Dorothy back to her hotel at Vence.
The way home led through La Turbie, away up in the hills, and tea they had at the salmon-pink Hotel Rhigi d'Hiver. Before leaving they each had a whiskey and soda and the waiter was nearly as entertaining as 'Jack' of Montelimar. "Well, and have you got 35 children?" asked Fitz. "Oh no, Madame. Too much job!!"
A young fellow called Etimma Pin
Had a guest who got blotto on gin.
'Twas so cool and so shady,
'She forgot that a lady
Would never commit such a sin.
Sunday, Feb 29
Fitz went off at nine o'clock to lunch with Etimma at his country house, and it appears he had a very nice one in the middle of the wine district. He honoured his guest with his best brand of champagne -- with soporific results . . .
Meanwhile Tammy and Tooty motored up to La Turbie and had lunch on a delightful rock overlooking Monte Carlo and the sea, where they made a cache. Then they went to sleep for quite a time, and then motored on, round the hairpin bends, up to the Golf Club, where they had a feeble tea, looked round and took a few photographs. Later they all went to a dance at the Savoy, and walked about the Promenade.
Monday, March 1
They all stayed in bed rather late, except Fitz who stayed there all day. Tammy and Tooty had tea at a smart little cafe called 'Tommy' and after dinner went to The Quaker Girl. However it was pretty rotten and Tooty had an awful cold, so they came out before the end and went home to bed.
Tuesday, March 2
They motored up past Cimiez into the hills, and had lunch near Aspremol. On the way back they had tea at the Grotto of St Andre, and took photographs. After dinner they went to the Casino to gamble.
Wednesday, March 5
After shopping all the morning they went to lunch at Maxim's and started off with hors d'oeuvres at 3 francs. The waiters brought several dishes, but were very surprised to seee that Fitz and Tooty and Tammy not only helped themselves to enormous helpings of each variety, but continued to do so until they were full! A very cheap lunch on the hole! Which Fitz went and spoilt by ordering a lobster at 60 frs.They had tea at 'Tommy', packed in preparation for the journey home, and at 8.15 went to the Savoy to dine. Etimma Pin was there of course. It was an excellent dinner, and they all got more or less tight. At the end Tooty got up on the platform and played they piano while Tammy did the jazz. The people danced, and one Frenchman was quite thrilled and asked for the Merry Widow to be played -- evidently his idea of the latest music!
Thursday, March 3
The next morning was bound to be rather "ish"; as a matter of fact they all overslept themselves, felt pretty rotten, and didn't get started till 9.15. There was quite a difficulty in getting petrol at Cannes as, owing to the railway strike, all the petrol was confiscated by the government. However, when the manager of the garage turned up he informed Tammy that he had taken the petrol away and hidden it outside Cannes. So off they went to get it, while Fitz and Tooty shopped. On the Esterel they stopped for lunch. The heat grew worse and worse until it was almost unbearable. They stopped at Flassons for beer, and at Pourcieux, or rather just outside, they pulled up and made a bed for Tammy by the roadside for him to snatch a few minutes sleep. What with the dance the night before, driving all day and the oppressive heat, he was absolutely worn out. At 6.30, after a run of 120 miles, they reached Aix and, thinking no hotel could be worse than the Negre et Coste, they put up at the Hotel du Louvre. But it wasn't much better!
Friday, March 5
They left Aix thankfully at 9.15, had lunch outside Avignon and then went into the town to see the sights. They went up the belfry and struck the big bell, bought souvenirs and took photographs. But the Palace of the Popes was shut during the little time they had to spend in Avignon. Fitz and Tooty slept nearly all the time, and only awoke to imbibe beer at pubs! Orange was one stopping place.
(Here are the three friends on Avignon's bell tower. On the right is one of the few clear photographs of the chaperone Mrs Fitzgerald. The young couple were clearly more interested in photographing each other.)
Saturday, March 6
At 9 they left Montelimar, and stopped for lunch at Chateaubourg. When they got to Lyon they found the city simply crowded, and discovered that the fair was on. It was impossible to get a room, but they were directed to the Committe de la Faire, and were given rooms at the Hotel des Voyageurs, at 40 francs a room! The fair was most interesting. Tooty and Fitz had a walk round, and longed to buy everything. They all felt pretty tired, though the journey had only been 95 miles, and went early to bed.
Sunday, March 7
It was raining hard when they started off, but they couldn't afford another night in Lyon! Almost immediately the engine went wrong, so they drove to the Garage Lafayette, and had the brake seen to. Then they lost their way, and had to pull up at Lozanne. At last, with great difficulty, the old car struggled into Villefranche at mid-day -- after taking all the morning to do 20 miles! They put up at the Hotel De l'Europe, having slept all the afternoon. Tooty and Fitz went straight up to their room when they arrived, while Tammy tinkered with the car. A maid appeared, and said "Shall I tell your chauffeur to bring up the luggage?" -- Tammy being the chauffeur! A very wet and dirty one, it must be confessed.
Monday, 8 March
About nine, they started off, the car going fairly well, though water got on the magneto and gave some trouble. Stopped at Beaujeu, where Tammy ran the car inside a shed and started tinkering with the magneto and plugs while Fitz and Tooty drank liqueurs in the cafe next door and completely won over Madame by washing up for her.
As they got up into the mountains the rain turned to snow, and soon the country was thick with it. At a tiny place called Les Echarneaux, where they halted for a few minutes, they were astonished to find a comical statue of Napoleon Buonaparte.
Finally the Belsize conked out altogether about a mile beyond Echarmaux and they had to trudge back to the village where they were delighted to find what in that wild country seemed to them to be a palace of an hotel. After ordering lunch they set off with a couple of cows, a dog, two men and an urchin to tow the car back. It was hard work, there being six inches of snow on the ground, and in some places the drift was very deep, and there was danger of concealed ditches. Lunch was wonderful -- such a meal, with all the numerous courses upside down -- that Tooty and Fitz collapsed in slumber after it, while Tammy, with the help of 'Alphonse', the driver of a camion that had also got stuck in the snow, put the car's magneto into working order again. More 'snowed-ups' arrived later on, so that dinner was quite a large party, there being Alphonse, a wine merchant from La Clayette and his friend, and two silent and mournful females clothed in respectable black. In the middle of dinner a very fat Frenchman entered noisily, embraced the two females and partook of refreshment. After that they quite cheered up. Tooty discovered a gramophone before dinner was over and set it going with the nearest approach to a jazz. Also persuaded Madame to empty a biscuit tin to provide a drum for Tammy who collected rattles and drumsticks (salvaged from the last dance at the Savoie) and gave a pretty good imitation of a jazz band. The rattles he handed round to the rest, who were beginning to smile and hum the tunes. Then they started dancing. Fitz was immensely appreciated, particularly when she danced round the room minus her shoes, and then hit the fat Frenchman in the stomach saying "There's one for your embongpong!" Liqueurs and beer flowed freely, and the evening ended by drinking healths, Fitz, Tooty and Tammy singing 'Tipperary' and 'God Save the King', while the French responded with the 'Marseillaise'.
Tuesday, March 9
The snow was still too thick to start, so after breakfast in bed Tooty and Tammy went for a walk in the village and played hide-and-seek, and made imprints of their faces in the snow. The other two motor parties left just before lunch.
Wednesday, March 10
A snow plough had been sent out, and had cleared away the snow enough to let the three continue their journey. Soon the snow-covered hills were left behind. In La Clayette they met the wine merchant, and he directed them to the best pub, where they had lunch. At Pierrefitte Tammy discovered five hundred American 'Chesterfield' cigarettes, and bought all of them! They seemed like Super De Reszkes after the filthy French gaspers. They arrived at Moulins in time for dinner and slept at the Hotel de Paris as before.
Thursday, March 11
Tammy had great difficulty in getting petrol, but at last they got off -- about 11 -- and lunched near Mornay. Tea at La Motte consisted of coffee and liqueurs. They reached Orleans about six, and went back to the same hotel -- St Aignan. Madame kindly allowed them to use her own sitting room and play the piano.
Friday, March 12
Breakfast at 9.30 was a great effort which proved futile, as it was raining so hard that they had to stay in Orleans all day. Fitz said they ought to go and see the Museum which, she had found out, was "... in an hotel -- such a funny place to have one -- in the Hotel de Ville!" They did go, as a matter of fact, and most depressing it was too. During their tour round the shops Fitz saw an absurd little parasol in a curiosity shop, which Tammy bought for her, and she insisted on walking back to the hotel holding it up! That and her yellow stockings were too much for the citizens of Orleans! They had tea in a shop, and afterwards Tammy went to sleep in his room while Tooty darned, and Fitz went out on her own.
Saturday, March 13
At first the car refused to start at all, but when it did, it behaved in a most unruly manner. The oil refused to come up. Tammy fixed that. Then the radiator leaked all over the place. Tooty fixed that. At Patay they bought some pate (pun) while Tammy changed the plugs. Lunch between Patay and Bonce, where the carburettor had to be taken down. At Dreux a tyre ponked. Meanwhile they all had cafe and liqueurs at the Grand Cerf Hotel and Tammy mended the tyre. At Nonancourt the tyre went flat, so the put on the Stepney. At last Evreux was reached -- about 6.45. It looked a dull sort of hole, and they were so tired that the Railway hotel seemed the best place to go to -- being the first one. However, a little further into the town a perfectly delightful one appeared -- the Hotel Grand Cerf. It seemed an old one, with a courtyard paved, and ornamented with china dogs and gargoyles, but the interior had recently been done up, in the modern style, and the rooms were beautifully clean, and most artistic as well as comfortable. After an excellent dinner, they played billiards, the piano, and imbibed beer, and slept the sleep of the just.
Sunday, March 14
Tooty and Fitz went round the town in the morning. As it was Sunday, the shops were shut, but the streets were most picturesque. After lunch they packed up and reached Rouen in time for tea, this time putting up at the Hotel de la Poste. The car was at its last gasp.
Monday, March 15
The shops were still shut after the weekend, so Tooty, Tammy and Fitz walked round, looking over churches, and tried to find the insane penny. Strangely enough they could not even recognize the bridge among whose sculptured crevices it was hidden. It remains a mystery to this day. In the afternoon they shopped and had tea at the same old cafe.
Tuesday, March 16
After an early breakfast they started off for Le Havre, as the car was running so badly that Boulogne was out of the question. The dear old car made a valiant effort and went very well. Havre was reached in time for lunch, which they had at the Tortoni, after having put the car on board. Tammy went off to have a shave after tea at the Garden Tea Room, and joined the other two at Tortoni's for drinks. Tooty left her camera at the tea shop, but went back for it afterwards, and got it back. After dinner they went on board -- at 9 -- and tried to get to sleep before the boat started.
Wednesday, March 17
Landed at Southampton at 6.30, and ate a terrific breakfast at the South Western Hotel. Caught the 11.17 to London, and with one immemorable celebration ended a wonderful adventure.
And the outcome of all this was a wedding ten weeks after the return from France. And how happy I am that they all survived the electrocution, the snow, the boozing and the displeased Parents on returning home, and managed to bring about a union which resulted, 22 years later, in me.
Caroline Thomas
Said Tooty and Tammy, "We must
Keep it dark that we've been on the bust."
But the story spread far
And gave Folkestone a jar,
And the Family vertical gust.
To get married was Tammy's intent,
So to Pa in a tremble he went.
But before meeting Papa
He was found out by Ma,
Which was not quite what Tammy had meant.
Said Tommy to Tooty, "Will you
When married to me remain true?
Will you love and obey?"
Said she, "Well, I may.
It'll be quite a fluke if I do!"
Now, before we leave this story, what about that Stiltigator in the MacTamsie 'coat of arms'? On 9 April 1921, the 'Drawing and Writing' game was played with several friends. This involves slips of paper. At the top you write a subject -- in this case it was "Tooty's wedding", and the next person draws it, turns down the title and passes the sketch to the next, who has to guess what it is, and so on. Thanks to appalling drawing skills, the topic evolved via a view of Nice to the lions in Trafalgar Square, interpreted as an alligator on stilts, finally defined as a Stiltigator. The beautiful drawing at the beginning of this story was by Henry King Gordon, Tooty's father.
